It’s 5:01 Tuesday morning, coffee is almost done, and I am sitting here in my pajamas, trying to figure out how I want to start this whole thing, this whole “ME” do-over…I was thinking, you know, that I was talking about the outside of me in my last blog. I was talking about the outside of me. The truth is, though, I don’t think it matters a whole lot what my outsides look like if my insides feel bad, stressed, frantic, angry, unhappy.
So I am going to revise my proposal to include ALL of me, not just the parts that the world sees. I want to work on balance, and happiness, staying positive and being kind. I want to explore the idea of living my life with gusto and saying yes, yes, yes a lot more than I do now…And all of those little things that force me out of my head and into the moment, those tasks that annoy me to no end? Instead of moaning and groaning about them, I’m going to try to do them with a smile. I probably won’t be great at it at first, but I’ll get there…
As far as what I’ve done so far to commit to this project? Well, most of the work has gone on in my head…I’m coming up with ideas about what I want to do. I have, however, started playing this little game in my head called “How can I be kind to myself tomorrow, right now?” What I have discovered is tomorrow me is stoked when I wash my face before I hit the sack (yep, even that wasn’t happening for a while), get the coffee ready on auto brew, and lay my clothes out before I go to bed at night. Gives me more time in the morning to write stuff like this.
By the way? Today is our monthly birthday party at work where we all bring amazing food and eat until we are sick…this is probably not a good idea, but I know I’m going to do it anyway, so here is my promise: Tomorrow I am going to jump into this thing with a fury. Today, it’s a potluck.