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Hitting Walls

I should be in the other room with the baby right now, but I wanted to check in real quick…yeah, so the yelling thing was going okay, until this evening when I had to call POISON CONTROL. My dad had been here to visit and left one of his lidoderm patches on the side of my bathtub, well within the reach of the baby when I bathed her this evening. I had no idea what the thing was, I picked it up and it was all gross and slimy. I guess it had been there since Monday morning (it was the same color as the tub and looked like a washrag). I didn’t know if it had gotten in the water, if it had any potency left in it- I wasn’t even sure if it was what I thought it was until I called my dad. Scared the HELL out of me.

Had the baby chewed on it or gotten it stuck to her, there would have been a risk of cardiac issues and seizures. I don’t know about you, but this whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I feel upset and angry that I have to worry about this shit. Sorry, dad, if you are reading- I love you, but every time you are here, I feel like I need to follow you around in case a stray pill or something falls out. This was wonderful when I was a teenager, but not so great now that I HAVE teenagers to contend with. Definitely not so great in a household with toddlers and puppies- although, God forgive me, if I had to choose, it would be the puppy eating the Lidoderm patch and not the baby.

So I did a little yelling tonight. Mostly at Devon, who had no idea what the hell I was talking about and wasn’t even here. Also, a little at the dog, who did not seem to understand that this was not a “fun” type of commotion.  So I guess I kind of hit a wall in the not yelling area. I suppose I can accept that there will be times when yelling is about all I can do…not that it helps.

Man, I’m still upset and just feeling dreadful. I don’t even know what to do right now. I’m glad everything is okay, but I guess I need to be even more vigilant when I have people over, and I need to set up some rules about what can and cannot come into this house- maybe it would be safer to have my dad stay in a hotel when he visits. Sigh.


I'm a single mom living life fully after years of intense addiction, trying to navigate life with grace-and failing spectacularly, sometimes. Learning to be a grown up In my 40's, without losing my lust for life, or my faith in humanity. Come, watch the antics. It should be fun (for you, at least).

3 thoughts on “Hitting Walls

    1. Yeah, you know…I probably shouldn’t have even written that, but it was so upsetting- there is something really weird (for lack of a better word) about having to chastise your parents. Mine tend to just brush me off, dismiss me completely, even when it’s a situation as serious as this could have been, or WAS, to me. I don’t feel like my home is safe when my dad is here, and that is wrong. Sad, too, because I know my dad adores me and his grandkids & would never do anything intentionally to hurt us. Ick. Just a hard place to be.


  1. I’m just glad someone is getting beat up besides me….;-)
    Tsk Tsk to your father. He hasn’t changed one bit.


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