The Best Advice You Will Never Hear

she-learned-the-hard-way-movie-poster-9999-1020429409

Let me point out now, the title says “The best advice you will never hear“. It doesn’t say anything about whether or not you had been told once, twice, thirty seven thousand times, before those little grains of wisdom finally revealed themselves to be true. Most of the human beings that I know, and certainly the one that I am, do not put a whole lot of stock in the wisdom generously shared with us by others. Never mind that, nine times out of ten, the people who have that wisdom KNOW what they are talking about- we want to figure it out the same way that they usually had to- the hard way. What is the hard way, you ask? The hard way is the exact thing that I am talking about, here- it’s the path we choose when we ignore everything our mom’s, dad’s, teacher’s, and the surgeon general have told us, and we continue doggedly on our way, until finally, disaster, heartbreak and complicated consequences that last indefinitely force us to see our errors. This is when we usually remember those words of advice given to us, long before, and think- “Whoa. Boy, were they right.”

I am going to list a few of my favorites, really universal advice that is true for pretty much everyone, always.

1. My personal favorite, the golden rule: ” Do unto others as you would have done to you.”  This is just the crux of life, in a tiny little phrase. You will never regret treating another human being with kindness and respect. Even if they end up being ruthless and spiteful, or just cranky and rude, once you’ve washed your hands of them and the situation, YOU get to look back and know you handled yourself in a respectable, gracious way. Your side of the street is clean (another good one, by the way, “keep your side of the street clean.”) and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. On the other hand, going around being rude, being dishonest, and treating people like crap- no matter what THEY did…that’s going to weigh on you somewhere down the line, I promise.

2. Beauty is only skin deep, or, as my grandma would say “pretty is as pretty does.” This is especially important to understand when you are young, and the way I grasped it, finally, was when a boy I liked chose another girl, in my opinion much less attractive…but she was nice. She was nice, and smart, and not a big hot mess, which could not be said about me at that time. We have all been enamored of someone, only to find out, sometimes right away and others, eventually, that they may be great looking but that just isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to sustain anything, and it isn’t a sustainable thing, either. Beauty fades. Find out what else you have to offer the world.

3. Be yourself. This one seems like a no brainer, right? But think about how many times you have tried to be or act a certain way to make people that mattered to you think you were good enough for them…lots, right? The truth is, anyone who really loves you in your life, knows you- the REAL you, and accepts you as is. The easiest way to figure out who ought to be in your life is to relax and be yourself. You can save yourself a lot of time and worry by letting things run their natural course.

4. Children learn by what you do, not what you say. Anyone who has a two year old knows this is not exactly correct- they also learn what you say, a fact that was blatantly thrown in my face yesterday when I heard my little one call her older sister an asshole. Oopsie. Clearly, I have some more implementing of this advice to do in my life. Also, you can never start too young with them. If you want your kids to be polite, to enjoy school, to clean up after themselves, well, guess what? That means you have to have manners, you have to be willing to involve yourself in their classrooms, homework, and projects, and you have to keep your house clean. I did none of those things with my teen, and I will do ALL of them with my toddler-because I learned the hard way it was true.

5.Life is what you make it. Truer words were never spoken. Your perspective, opinion, and attitude about things has everything to do with exactly how happy you are at this very moment, and at every other moment in time. No one else is responsible for your happiness but you. Maybe you had a shitty childhood- lots of us did- but it’s up to you to decide to leave that shit behind you, and move on. In life, your heart will get broken, you will be treated unfairly, you will get knocked on your ass more times than you will even be able to count…and you are the only one to decide to learn from it, to let go, change direction, become better. Or, carry around a chip on your shoulder, be angry, lash out at others, choose defeat. It’s totally up to you. And when you are ready to understand THAT advice, it may be the turning point in your life.

There are so many other really great, wise old sayings, quotes, and cliches, I could go on and on…but I won’t! I’d rather hear from others what their favorites are, and why. Can’t wait to hear back!

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “The Best Advice You Will Never Hear

  1. My favorite cliche right now is “be true to your word.” I really dislike being bullshitted, and yet it has been a huge part of my life. On the flip side, being true to your word can be tricky. It’s easy to say more than is necessary. And it takes some maturity and finesse to remain civil in sticky situations. Meanwhile, there are hordes of bullshiters out there and you can’t take a word they say seriously. What to do! How to figure it all out?

    Like

    1. I had to work really hard on that one! I was such a fuck up for so long, and made a lot of empty promises, made a lot of deals with people that I couldn’t come through in the end, with my part. I didn’t know I was lying at the time, I meant every word I said…it just didn’t carry over into action. This bothered me more than anything as I grew up and saw this in myself. I try very hard to not be that person today, and I am not always successful, but it is my way of making amends for the past. All people bullshit sometimes, in different ways…it’s one thing when it’s harmless or obvious. You can brush it off or see it for what it is. I guess the only thing you can do when it’s harmful is to call the asshole on it, directly, and hope it will jolt him out of his rotten ways. Sometimes being called on your shit is embarrassing enough to make you think twice! Beyond that…I guess we just have to be very careful who we trust. It’s impossible to be right all the time.

      Like

  2. One big guiding idea in my life– don’t sweat the small stuff. Life will throw things your way that are worth anger, tears, frustration, so don’t let dumb stuff bring that out in you. I don’t always live up to that, but I try 🙂

    Like

    1. Yeah, I could use some work on that one, for sure. Every little bump in the road is a catastrophe for me. Until I realize what an idiot I am, then I tend to mellow out. Too bad that takes a really long time, most of the time!

      Like

Everyone has an opinion...let's hear yours!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s