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Re-calibrating my Goals

food

Good morning!

So, here we are, close enough to mid-way through the first month of this beautiful, shiny new year…it’s been enough time for me to notice what just might not be working out as planned-as resolved, rather.

For instance, I vowed I would not eat fast food, not even once, in 2019. And that is going great! I have not had so much as a nibble off the end of a french fry, I swear it. But nowhere in that resolution does it go on to say: “however, I shall indiscriminately eat any and all things that are not nailed down, that are also not delivered via a drive-thru window.” I think the point of my resolution was to eat healthier in general, not just gorge on everything that was not fast food. I should have written that into the resolution. My brain is very literal. Anything that is not fast food has been game, and I am already seeing the effects of it.

Last Tuesday, I bought a box of cocoa-dusted truffles from Trader Joe’s. I paused long enough in front of the stack of boxes that it was obvious I was deliberating over whether or not this was a disastrous idea- proof that it was. I bought them anyway. I knew it was a bad idea, but I just didn’t care. I brought them home, and ate them all, one by one, over the course of the next few days. They were all gone by yesterday. And it’s not the worst thing in the world, I know that. It’s just so…unnecessary. So opposite of the way I am trying to go.

I ordered Hello Fresh, the vegetarian boxes, thinking that would be a healthy, fun way to incorporate more veggies into my diet, and keep me eating at home more. Well, I’ve been eating more veggies at home, for sure. But just because something is vegetarian does NOT make it low calorie. Especially when I’m the cook, and I’m adding extra butter and cream to everything, because it tastes so much better.

All of this to say- I need to start tracking my food again. I never wanted to, but I need to see the calories I’m consuming as I’m consuming them, because it’s too easy to pretend otherwise. I’d lost 7 pounds thanks to that awful medication I was on, and I gained every pound back already. This is not the direction I want to be headed. If it were seven pounds of muscle, that’d be great, but I can say with some certainty that it is NOT.

As far as the bulk of everything else I’d resolved to do? Eh, things are going okay…I feel like I could push myself harder, but then again, I always feel that way. The areas where I really have been shining are walking my dog daily- and therefore getting more exercise myself- and doing more around the house every day, which is a big win, but, judging by the way the house looks right now, not big enough. There are only so many hours in a day. I am not a miracle worker.

I still haven’t gone to the gym, and you know what? I really don’t want to go to the gym. I just do not want to go. I drove all the way out there yesterday for a yoga class, and wound up going shopping at Kohl’s instead. Came home, did some yoga privately in my living room. So I don’t know…I think I might just give up the membership. There is one class I really want to try before that happens, though, and if I like it, it could change everything.

In other news, things I did not resolve to do but am doing anyway, such as: my meditation practice is wonderful. Haven’t missed a day. My meeting attendance is up, which is a good thing. And I’ve been making lists of tasks to complete daily, and trying my hardest to get them done.

Two weeks in. My summary? Not terrible, but could definitely be better. I’m not giving up on myself yet, though. That’s the great thing about resolutions- you can make them at any time, change them at any time, reevaluate them and rearrange them. Moral of the story? Don’t give up! I’m not about to, and neither should you! How are your resolutions going, if you made some?

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Author:

I'm a single mom in recovery, trying to navigate life with grace-and failing spectacularly, sometimes. Learning to be a grown up In my 40's, without losing my lust for life, or my faith in humanity. Come, watch the antics. It should be fun (for you, at least).

11 thoughts on “Re-calibrating my Goals

  1. One of the reasons I dislike resolutions is that their all-or-nothing/win-lose approach ignores human nature and sets people up to fail, and then makes people feel worse than before.

    You seem to have a much healthier attitude here to your goals, which is not to be a slave to them, but to keep with what works and adjust what doesn’t. BTW – my wife is trying to lose weight this year, and is trying the low-carb approach. We’ll see how things work out …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I definitely don’t want to beat myself up-I’ve already done more than my share of that. On the contrary, my overall goal is to fall madly, deeply in love with myself & my life in 2019. And the only way I can see to do that is to start with being 100% okay with where I am, and trying to do better every day. ❤️

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  2. I love your approach! In fact, I’m going to steal it and live by it too! 🙂

    2018 was the year I got sober. 2019 I feel should be the year I get serious! I realise now, with alcohol kicked to the curb (but by no means does this mean I’m done – I’ll forever be a work in progress), that I can actually go and chase those dreams that alcohol stopped me from even, well, dreaming of! I’m heading off towards a new career path that I will have to figure out from scratch, I intend to give the writing a shot too now that I’m at my full faculties again, and for the hell of it I want to be able to run 10k within the hour! And why not? There’s nothing stopping me now. Perhaps I’ll never publish a book and perhaps I’ll never get that last kilometre in before the timer ticks past the one hour, but sober I’m able to give it a really good shot.

    Here’s to our best year yet! And well done resisting those French fries!

    Love,

    Anna xx

    Liked by 1 person

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