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Quick Post

As I wait for Cam to thoroughly wet her hair in the shower so that I can come and wash it for her (we are working towards her doing it on her own, but if I want her to smell like a human child rather than a wet dog, for now, the work must be done by me), I thought I would drop by with a few tidbits. Yes, it takes her that long to get her hair wet. Don’t get me started on how frustrating it is, raising a child who has two speeds- slow, and stopped. She gets that from her dad, for sure.

Anyway, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it recently, but my trip to Maine is almost upon me! We leave Friday afternoon for an overnight in the city, and fly out of SF early Saturday morning. This will be Cam’s first flight ever, so I’m a little nervous about that- I sincerely hope it doesn’t freak her out. I’m not much of a brave flyer myself, so if she falls apart, I’m in trouble. Actually, I’ll probably find myself becoming very calm if she is upset, as mothers often do, but still…I hope she loves it. That would be ideal.

I left my house exactly twice this weekend, and on one of the outings, I braved the bathing suit section at Target. I did what I always do, despite my many promises to never do it again, and bought a bathing suit, a pair of shorts, and a top, without trying any of them on. This is such a bad idea. Especially when you factor in the part where it is nearly impossible to get me to Target in the first place, let alone to go back and return or exchange something. Anyway, the shopping Gods were smiling on me this time. The suit not only fits, but it’s super flattering, and the shorts and top worked out well, too. So, after my stuff, Cam’s ton of new stuff (she’s grown yet another size in the past few months), dog food, cat food, and travel size items to take with us, I was out about three hundred dollars. Not that I expected anything less.

I’m getting excited about this trip! I’m meeting my mom there, and we should have a great time, fingers crossed. I cannot wait to see Maine, finally! I just wish I could skip the flights and be there without all the hassle.

Anyway, the last thing…I did something kind of weird yesterday. I got in bed in the afternoon, right after a bath, and I made a conscious decision to do absolutely nothing. I mean, no TV, no music, no phone, no ANYTHING. I wasn’t even trying to meditate. I honestly can’t remember the last time I spent 15 minutes in utter, total stillness. The things your mind will do when you give it no material to work with! My God! My thoughts were doing the River Dance, the Can-Can, and all sorts of acrobatics trying to get my attention. I just tried to stay out of it. It’s not easy to do nothing.

Eventually though, for probably less than a minute, I experienced complete and total silence. The house was silent, my thoughts were silent…did you know that silence actually has a sound? It is almost like the low hum of electricity, except it’s in your ears. I don’t know why I wanted to do that- I wasn’t trying to accomplish anything. It’s just…it isn’t often that I’m not trying to accomplish something, even if it’s just watching a show on TV. I just wanted to see if I could do it, I guess. Wanted to know if I could sit with myself, how it would feel.

It felt nice. You should try it sometime.

Okay, I better go see what she is doing. This is ridiculous.

Author:

I'm a single mom living life fully after years of intense addiction, trying to navigate life with grace-and failing spectacularly, sometimes. Learning to be a grown up In my 40's, without losing my lust for life, or my faith in humanity. Come, watch the antics. It should be fun (for you, at least).

13 thoughts on “Quick Post

    1. I don’t think we’ll make it to Acadia, unfortunately…it’s much further from where we are staying than I anticipated. ☹️ But it should be fun, nonetheless! We’ll be in Old Orchard Beach & Portland, then back down to Massachusetts for a few days. I can’t wait to share Mass. with my mom and daughter!

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  1. That’s cool. A few months ago I just sat and listened to my breath for the very first time ever (which is funny because I’ve been meditating for 10 years; TM doesn’t involve any particular attention to breath). It was mind-opening. Enjoy Maine! The first time I went to Maine, a few years ago, I drove over the mountains from VT/NH and thought I had discovered freaking paradise. Except I don’t think I was first because there were thousands of people who clearly got there before me.

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    1. I’m excited to see it myself, and I’m even more excited to get to share the experience with my eight year old and my mom! Nothing like discovering new places together. And I cannot wait to show them Salem! We are headed down into Massachusetts for half of the stay, which will be a first for them. My mom is going to go crazy for Salem!

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      1. My cousin lives in Salem and my future definitely holds a trip there, when I can get enough money. It’s been nearly 40 years since we’ve0

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      2. Also over the years, we’ve taking some similar paths. She became the writer I wanted to be. I had the family she wanted to have. We have a mutual admiration club here. It will be joyful.

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  2. In 2001 and 2002 I was in Boston and Needham for work and, during downtime, I would take some side trips to Salem. It definitely has a different feel and a different energy to that region.

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