Posted in adventure, faith, Goals, Learning, Life, Musings, People, random

Reckoning

I have been quiet.

I know that I have, and there have been many times when I sat myself down here to write, but the words just didn’t come.

Here’s the thing- for maybe the first time ever, the things I have been wrestling with are not things that I feel like sharing with the world. It’s not that I have some dark secret or big story- to be honest, it’s not ever very interesting. And maybe one of these days, when I finish sorting it all out, I’ll be able to lay it out for you in a cohesive manner in hopes that someone else can glean something from it. But I’m not there right now.

I will tell you this, though- this has certainly been a time of reckoning for me. Just me, myself, and I, getting down to the nitty gritty of this life of mine. It hasn’t been pretty or easy or fun, but it feels…important.

And once again, as they always do, the rays of light have started to shine through. Things never stay dark for good, and even knowing this is true, it can still get a little worrisome when you are in the middle of it.

The other day, it occurred to me- my god, if I can do this- if I can pack up my whole life and move thousands of miles away because it was my dream to do so…then I can probably accomplish almost anything I desire.

And while that realization brought me a rush of excitement and some feeling of pride, it also scared me a little bit. Because knowing I can means no more bullshit excuses, you know? I am capable of achieving anything I really want. I have what it takes to make things happen. If I shy away from it, I’m selling myself short.

So…just a quick check in. Things are in a state of flux as they have been since the moment I left California. It’s not ideal, but I suppose I am learning to go with the flow? Or at least not dig my heels in so hard that I leave furrows in my wake.

I’m trying to trust the process and remember that I believe in things always working out exactly the way they are supposed to. They always have, one way or another.

Posted in advice, faith, family, health, home, inner peace, kids, Life, living, mindfulness, Musings, People, random, social media

Strange Times

It’s been a while, I know…possibly the longest I’ve gone without posting in over a year! I didn’t plan on this long hiatus, it just sort of happened. I got off of Facebook, and the silence and space that created in my life felt so good that it just sort of rolled over into everything else. I suppose you could say I was practicing “social distancing” in a pretty hardcore way before it was even cool.

Seriously, though- I had planned on resuming my posts while I was on vacation this week in Maine. As you can guess, those plans fell to the wayside in the face of the current SciFi movie that is reality right now. I was very conflicted all last week about whether to stay home or go ahead and go. Looks like I made the correct decision. It would suck to be trapped in a hotel room on the other side of the country right now, and that is probably exactly what it would have ended up being. There’s nowhere we can go to escape this thing right now, unfortunately.

That being the case, what we can do, though limited, is pretty simple. We can follow the instructions being given to us by our local officials. And if you feel like your local governing body isn’t quite up to speed, you can certainly take it upon yourself to do your part- stay home, limit contact to those living in your household, limit trips outside the house to necessities. Stop complaining- we all are well aware that the stores are out of toilet paper and pretty much everything else. Suck it up. Freaking out isn’t helping anyone. Be responsible about what you post and put some thought into what you believe- in other words, don’t incite panic in others and check the facts before you assume something is true.

This is a scary time right now! There is no arguing that fact. For sure this is the strangest event I have ever witnessed unfolding in my lifetime. It sure does change things, doesn’t it? I can’t speak for you, but for me…it’s made me realize a few things. One of them is the crazy amount of things I take for granted on a daily basis. I have never not been able to easily get whatever I needed from the store. I have never been told to stay inside, or had to be afraid to run into the grocery store. I have zero experience with being anything less than absolutely free to do as I please, and I promise you, when this is over with, I will view that freedom with a lot more appreciation.

Another thing I’ve realized is…I really want to live. I don’t mean just survive this thing, either, which of course is also true. I mean…holy shit, you guys! Life is finite. Of course we all know this on a certain level, but it seems like I just assume that I have all this time to do whatever, you know? But now…now I just want to gobble up all the experiences the same way I am gobbling up all the food in this house- with rash abandon.

I think we are all getting a very good lesson in living in the moment. None of us know what tomorrow holds- this has always been true, but now the point is really being driven home. So enjoy this day. Enjoy your children’s sweet faces, enjoy your good health, enjoy the quiet world. Take care of yourself, and take nothing for granted. We’ll get through this, one way or another.

Wishing you all safety and good health. Make wise decisions, for yourself and for all of us. Hang in there.