Tag Archives: wordpress

The Blogger Appreciation Award

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I was excited to have been nominated the other day by The Non-Alcoholic Student for The Blogger Appreciation Award. I needed a few days to properly accept the award, mostly because I am challenged when it comes to things like figuring out how to insert links properly…hey, I’m here to write. The technical aspects can be a little intimidating. However, I did figure it out (it actually wasn’t all that hard), and now here I sit, feeling all appreciated and shit. Thanks for thinking of me, kid! Anyway, you should check out her blog- the title is pretty telling, but just in case you don’t get it, it’s a blog about a University student who is choosing the rare path of not drinking, rather than passing the time as a drunken mess.

Now lets see…what else do I have to do? Let me refer back to the rules…gimme a minute. Okay found them. Here they are:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their site.
  • Write a paragraph on something positive about yourself
  • Nominate and notify as many bloggers as you wish
  • Use the award image

Okay, I think I got the first part out of the way! Now let’s see…something positive about myself.

Well, I’m a pretty decent human being. I’ve been working hard on myself for a while now, and I seem to be making some headway. Having spent the majority of my youth deeply under the influence, it’s been interesting to see who I actually am under all the debris I am slowly clearing away. The answer, so far, is exactly that- a pretty decent human being. I am neither as awesome nor as repugnant as I had imagined. One thing I am continually surprised by is how good of a mom I am! I REALLY love making my kids the primary focus of my life- and yes, I know, that’s how most moms generally are, but…well, I wasn’t always this way. So I am really happy and proud of this. At two years and eight months in, I am still at the very beginning of a journey that I hope will last the rest of my life. I have a feeling that as I evolve, and continue to work hard at bettering myself, I am going to grow into exactly the woman I have always dreamed of being.

There, is that positive enough? Okay, on to the next thing. Nominating other bloggers I appreciate. Man, that is rough…I appreciate all of you guys. So, I am just going to pick three, but please know that you all bring something I love to the table, and that is why I follow you! Here goes:

My True North

Out an’ About

Hurrah for Coffee!

I hope you click on each link and give these bloggers a look! The last part asks that I use the award image- I am going to try to do that at the top of the page. We’ll see how THAT goes. Once again, I am so grateful to receive an award in appreciation of my blog. I pour a lot of my heart into this thing, and it feels great to know I am being heard, and reaching people here and there. I think that’s all any of us really want.

Talk to you all soon!

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6 Years Old

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A few days ago, I received a notification that my blog has been around for 6 years! Oh my goodness, that really is hard to believe- I remember very clearly starting this blog, and what I thought I wanted to write about. Funny how that wound up working out- my writing had other plans, and took me in a very different direction.

Sometimes I want to go back and remove some of the posts I have shared. There are plenty where it is clear to me that I was not doing so well when I wrote them, and it causes me a bit of shame to read the words I wrote when I was not in my right mind. But I haven’t done it yet, and I don’t know if I will- that’s kind of what this blog is; a real life account of an addict, both using and clean. I can confirm that this is true with simple math- the blog is six years old, and I have two years, eight months, and one day clean. There were many small stretches of sobriety interspersed here with other stretches of not-so-much.

There were long periods of time when I didn’t write anything at all- maybe one or two disjointed posts over the stretch of many months. There were times when I promised to write again regularly, and meant it, only for life to show up and take me for a ride in a different direction. There were times when I thought about abandoning this particular project all together, but just…never got around to it. I’m glad I didn’t do that.

I was fooling around with the stats of this blog the other night, and there is a way to see how many other countries have viewed your blog. Let me tell you, in six years, I don’t think there is one country that hasn’t at least popped in. Countries I honestly didn’t know existed have viewed this blog! It blew my mind. There have been thousands and thousands of views, thousands of likes, and hundreds of comments. I mean, that is so freaking cool!

So, happy birthday to my blog, and thanks so much to all of you who take the time out of your lives to read my ramblings, who reach out to me and let me know you are really feeling what I do, and who make me feel like I have something to offer. This has been a wonderful part of my journey.

RLG Family 4

I am happy to report that I am not the same person who started this blog six years ago. I have been through so much, but I have learned from all of it, and I am in a much better place now than I have ever been before. My life is calm (for the most part), my recovery is solid, and my heart has more peace in it than it ever has before. I have learned that I do not have to be afraid of myself anymore- I have learned to trust myself to do the right thing. This is huge. There was a time when I feared that if no one else could save me, left to my own devices, I was as good as dead. I’m so glad to report that I was wrong. Somehow, and with some divine intervention, I’m sure, I became the hero of my own story.

Not only can I depend on myself, but other people can depend on me- my job knows I will show up. My kids know I will be there for them. My friends can call me, day or night. I might not pick up the phone every time, but I will definitely come through as soon as I can (hey, I’m not perfect, give me a break). My bills get paid, and the chores, eventually, get done. My dog gets walked, my cats get…whatever it is that cats need.

In short, my life has become a safe place to be, and it blows my mind every single time it sinks in. Like, whoa! How did I get here? It is truly staggering, the reality of how I turned this ship around. I am proud of it, sure, but more than that, I am deeply, profoundly grateful.

And I look forward to sharing it all with you, going forward. Thanks for hanging out!

 

Three Things

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As my daughter sits here, eating cereal more slowly than a sloth, I figure I have 15 minutes to do my weekly list. Here are 3 things on my mind this morning:

  1. I am really enjoying WordPress right now. I find new blogs to follow every day, and it is exciting…I have to remember not to get caught up in the rat-race mentality. The purpose of my blog, really, which started out as a way to keep me accountable on my quest to better myself as I grew older, morphed into a sort of journal, and finally became a way for me to talk about my addiction and recovery- that is the purpose of my blog. I do care about “likes” and “follows”, of course I do. But at the end of the day, if each blog finds its way to one person who needs to see it, if one person feels like maybe there is hope after reading my words- that’s really what this is about for me. When I remember that, I enjoy this whole experience a LOT more. I might even do a list of my favorite blogs soon, if I can get my shit together enough to do it.wordpress
  2. This past week has been rough for me. I have been trying hard to take care of myself, but I consistently bite off more than I can chew, and it hit me this morning that I need to remember that I am trying to enjoy my life. If the things I am doing are making me miserable, I am not doing it right. It’s great to have goals, but it’s important to pay attention to the way you feel while you are out pursuing them- if it feels like shit, knock it off. I’m not saying give up the minute things get hard, but if you are really unhappy, you probably aren’t on the right track. That’s where I’m at, anyway.enjoy life
  3. And finally, my favorite Podcast this week is Two Girls, one Ghost. If you like spooky stories, you are going to binge the F%#K out of this one. I am a huge fan. Those girls make my workday bearable. If you are into podcasts and like ghosts, black eyed children, etc., you will enjoy them immensely. Check them out!Two_Girls_One_Ghost-Annes-Version-Draft-6

My Blog Turned 2, and Now It Won’t Listen to a Thing I Say…

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Actually, this was like a week or more ago, now. I get so busy with my stupid reality, I have no time to actually sit down and write about it. I could do it during work, but I feel too guilty. Don’t get me wrong, I screw around just like everyone else, I just make sure not to do anything that I enjoy a whole lot- that way, it doesn’t feel so bad.  So anyway, I thought it would be fun to write a little bit about what I have learned about blogging, and about myself, in these past couple of years. Here goes:

10.) The thing I intended to write about in the beginning, my “whole life makeover”, is possible…just not for someone with kids. I love the idea of being the very best me I can possibly be, up to and including : Shiny, bouncy hair; slender waist and perky boobs, bonus if my ass isn’t sliding down my thighs as it has implied, lately, that it might; gym going, yoga doing little ball of focused energy; responsible, organized and self-assured; maintains and tends to her important relationships, excellent mother, clean house…you get the idea, right? I want to be a fucking superwoman, just like every other chick who isn’t lying to herself. But I have children, I work full time, and I am still my messed up, unruly, ADHD, drug addict self. Some days, the VERY best I can do is show up and not verbally abuse people. Hell, some days, all I can do is show up. So, my blog isn’t about what I thought it would be about. But it is still about me…which leads me to:

9.) Be super duper careful when you write about your personal relationships. People do NOT like it when you talk about them on  the world wide web. They get all screwy and uptight and weird, and ask you not to mention their names (like anyone knows who the fuck you are, Grace. Just kidding, Ethel.) , and for God’s sake, if you have a habit of breaking up with someone and getting back together like some people on some other blogs (this one) I’ve read, you may want to think twice before posting that shit. Because a) Everyone will think you are stupid and hate your (ex)boyfriend, including you, and b) You will have to hear your (ex)boyfriend quote your words fourteen thousand and twenty seven times, until you threaten to cut him in his area. Yes, this is culled from real life, people.

8.) I am not as interesting or original as I thought. I read blogs all the time that are so much better than mine. I can think of one in particular (thank GOD she fixed her life and stopped writing, I couldn’t take it anymore. 🙂 ) where this woman had NO WRITING ASPIRATIONS AT ALL and her blog was a thousand times better than mine! Organized, cute, well thought out, interesting, and she stuck to her theme almost always. I don’t usually even know which personality is going to be writing my blog when I sit down, let alone where the hell I’m going to wind up. But trust me, wherever it is, someone has been there before…thanks to Google and WordPress, I now know there has never been an original thought in my head.

7.) I am also not a very fast learner. This one was a bit of a shocker, as I have always prided myself on being just that. But, when reviewing my timeline, I find that I am running into the same issues, again and again and again. I am not learning what I need to learn, or remembering what that is, or something. God, I have had it with me.

6.) I am a total attention hog. And a stats junkie. If I write it, I expect that they will come…and if they don’t, I expect that I will feel like shit. Look, some of my blogs are just so-so, but most of them, I really do like. At least, at the time I published them. So it’s not a big shocker that I think everyone will like the things I write…right? Every little “like” that is clicked, every little “reblog” gives me a little hit of the universal adoration I crave. It’s a sickness. You watch, there will be a 12 step meeting for it soon, if there isn’t already.

5.) It’s a lot harder to come up with a list of ten things than you will ever know until you sit down to write one.

4.) I really like internet porn. You have no idea how many times I have sat down to write and wound up…not writing, instead. I mean, really enthusiastically not writing. This, I hear, is also a sickness.

3.) I don’t have time to read as many blogs as I would like to, so I can’t blame anyone for not reading mine. I guess. Although, even though I just claimed to be neither interesting or original, clearly, you can see that I am both. I think it would behoove you to continue to read this blog, even though I ALSO just actually said I had no intention of reading yours. I might. But I will be famous someday, so it is worth your while…we all know that famous people are important. Well, I am important in waiting. Read me like the bible (if the bible had a lot of vulgarity, curse words and giant holes in it.) (Oh, wait. It does!)

2)When in doubt, do not hit “Publish”. If you are bleary eyed and half crocked at two a.m. and you think that what you have written is maybe a little risque, it is probably pornography and please don’t embarrass yourself. If you are in the same predicament and think your writing is really great…it probably really isn’t. Sleep on it. If and when you wake up, take a little peek, and see if you aren’t horrified. Trust me, I wish someone had been around to tell me that. Of course, they probably were, I just didn’t have time to read their blog.

1) I really, truly do love to write. It is an enormous part of who I am, and I am so grateful to live in the time that I do, where I can be a part of the WordPress community, no matter how sporadic I am, and say whatever I want, whenever I want to…for FREE. Just think- you would have missed out on this little gem if it weren’t for the guys running this ship! Yay wordpress! And Happy Birthday, toddler blog. You look exactly like your mother.